Optimism Is Hard

I have been trying to think optimistic about life. It's hard coming up the way I have. Every time I felt something was good, I also knew right around a corner something bad was waiting. And to be honest there alway was. Optimism, heh! Working on it. I need to believe in it though. If not I feel my bouts of depression are going to take me over once again. I do not want that. I want to hurt sometimes, but not to the extent my depression takes it. So, I will make myself change. Going to be the conversation starter than the man in the corner. I was the person who used to be shy but very willing to step in front of random folks and open small talk. It was amazing. I am going to fall back to those days. That is kind of funny. Falling back to move forward. Yea that is what is!

Only two weeks left, still no apartment in sight. I have someone willing to move with me to Boston now though. This stroke of luck opens up the possiblity of paying cheaper rent and living in a bigger place. I just wish I could have a place already so I wouldn't have to be so stressed. It will come in time. Honestly though...I don't want to move. In the situation I am in I can't stay. Sucks! That is all for now.

-jairo